Rituals for a new baby

I was watching an interesting documentary at the RTS1, the first channel of the country. I missed the beginning but I can clearly understand that is about the rites people from different places (particularly those living in not so modern conditions) have concerning their babies. In other words, the documentary relates the bath rituals, breastfeeding methods, carrying methods and way of educating babies among other things.
This documentary reminds me of the rituals Senegalese women use for their babies as well. There is panoply of things to do once a child is born until he is old enough. One of the most important one is probably the massage of the body. The baby is strongly massaged with what we call Karite- or shea butter all over his body. The ritual can seem pretty harsh for a new mother that is why the grand mother often executes it. The massage or “Damp” in my language helps shape the baby’s body. It is also very efficient if you want the baby to fall asleep. I remember once, my mother did the massage on my young baby cousin. She was screaming her breath out and her mother begged my mother to stop. However as soon as she finished the massage, the usually fussy baby fell immediately asleep. It was like witnessing a miracle.
The “Mbotu” or piece of cloth that is used to carry the baby on the back is also a very important ritual. A new mother needs to carry the baby on its back in order for her to do chores. It is also another way of helping the baby to sleep. Many Senegalese children grew up attached to their mother’s back. From that post, they witness several aspects of daily life and get to learn about them.


The Mbotu
image courtesy: www.inkycircus.com/jargon/images/african_baby...

One on hand, the documentary was very interesting in the sense that it taught me on simple thing: people from all over the world maybe different and may have different ways of caring for their babies. Nevertheless, the love they have for these little people is still the same. For example, mothers would have different ways of protecting their children against bad spirit or the evil eye (attaching amulets or applying oil to their babies’ body) but it is in the same spirit. .
On the other hand, the documentary made me feel sad: my Little Prince was not lucky enough to have all these rituals performed on him. I had my first born alone with my husband in the United States. My mother who was supposed to teach me all about the rituals could not be there to support me. Therefore, I was pretty much left to myself to welcome this new thing to the world and keep him there. My hubby was as clueless as I was. Certainly we received several advices from both my mother and my mother in law through the telephone. Nevertheless it could not replace having them there to help us out. Therefore my baby grew up without ever being really massaged. (I did try to massage with the Karite butter but as a new mother I was never as harsh as my own mother was). I never massaged his nose either trying to affinate it. And it took me several months before I was ready to use the Mbotu on him.
I was a clueless mother trying to protect her child by any means that I did not let him do things babies his age would. I would rarely let him be, or play afraid that he would hurt himself. As a result, he did not sit, crawl and walk as early as I thought he would.
Fortunately for us, we could come to visit our family back home more than three times in Little Prince three years on this earth. Therefore, we could catch up on the rites. I learned many things that I was supposed to do or that I should start to do for him. Sometimes, I was not sure about them- like the time my mother in law bought some copper anklet to put on Baby Boy’s to avoid nightmares. In fact, since we arrived in my country for a short holiday, Baby Boy was screaming at night obviously having nightmares. However, the moment he started to wear this copper anklet, he was sleeping like the baby he was. After this incident, it became hard for me to stay skeptical about those rituals.
I feel sorry for Baby Boy and myself because there is a huge amount of traditions that accompany a new mother and a new baby that we did not experienced. I wished I had my mother by my side telling me and showing me what to do. But it was not the case. So, I feel like I missed out. Nevertheless I will not complain. After all Little Prince turned out fine. When he was born, my husband used to say that he should apologize before hand to the baby because he would be like a cobaye to us. Since he was the first born to inexperienced and left out parents, there was a big chance that he would not turn out fine. However, now when I see him going, playing, talking, being this affectionate child that everyone loves, I say to myself that we both did a great job with what we had at the time. Certainly, he is not perfect (no one is) but he is not bad either. And only for that I should thank GOD.