Pregnancy Taboos

Pregnancy is a beautiful experience, when you take out the aches and pains of a growing foreign body inside yours that is. Nevertheless, pregnant women will tell you that it is one of the best moments of their lives, apart raising the child that is born.

Pregnancy is a dangerous experience. People often tend to forget that it is a life and death situation. It is not rare that women die during pregnancy or labor. Even though medicine and science is developing to a certain rate where we have less pregnancy or labor related deaths, it is nonetheless an imminent danger.

I tend to forget about the danger of pregnancy. But a visit to the doctor’s office and one talk with both of my mothers (my real mother and my mother in law) put me back into that mental state. Yet I am not the one to loose sleep or appetite over a problem. I am pretty much laid back. Therefore, it is hard for me to understand all the taboo that revolves around a pregnancy particularly in my country.

First you have to understand that in Senegal, a pregnancy is considered as a disease. I remember the first time I got pregnant, my mother told my husband to be uber patient with me because I was not a well person. I found it revolting and insulting that she would diminish me like that. But come to think of it, a woman is not very well during a pregnancy. You feel nauseous and tired most of the time. You tend to be forgetful and irritated for no reason at all. You turn into this food gobbling, mood swinging, lazy woman and no one understand why. For nine months- and more- you become a different person for your entourage. And only another woman who has been through the same experience can understand you. Men, I tend to notice are frighten by your state. They act fine but deep inside they do not know how to deal with you. And this can cause couples to grow more and more distant.

Second, during a pregnancy, a woman back home is recommended to do so many things if she wants to assure a safe journey. There are of course, things that she should eat, activities that she should do. But one thing I hate the most, is the fact that she has to hide her pregnancy to outsiders for as long as she can. And one better way to do it is to wear large clothes. People believe that nothing good can result from talk. In other words, the more people talk about you, the worse you can feel. Therefore to avoid what we call “Tchat” (something like an evil eye except this one is more like an evil tongue), people hide pregnancies. They do so by wearing Senegalese traditional clothes (which used to be baggy back in the days). However, I discovered two things about this phenomenon: one is that baggy clothes can hide your growing belly up to a certain amount of time. Passed the 2nd trimester, there is not much they can do. You round belly is there to be seen. Second, people are not dumb. They tend to notice and understand your change of state even before you tell them. Therefore, I think that hiding is just a waste of time. I like the fact that in Western country, women are proud to show off their growing bellies (even though I condemn them exhibiting their naked belly to the world. It is just too wrong to walk around half naked with a big belly in front of everyone). They feel so free. But here, you have to walk around like you are ashamed of being pregnant. I hate it but it is the “Soutoura” (discretion) national that dictates it.

Third, during a pregnancy, a Senegalese woman is forbidden to eat or do some thing that people who do not belong may find silly. I do find them silly sometimes. For example, a pregnant woman should not eat too much abalone- a Senegalese delicacy because if she does, once her baby is born he will drool all the time. Or a pregnant woman should surrender to her cravings-particularly when the food is in front of her- because if she does not, the kid will be born with many birthmarks. There are so many other things like that but I cannot tell them all. However, my first experience as a pregnant woman proved me that, all those sayings were not necessarily true. I like abalone but I am certain that I did not eat it much when I was pregnant with Baby boy. And that little fellow was a drooler and a spitter. Moreover, because of my strict husband who had in mind that he had to follow my diet, there were many things such as butter and sugar that were denied to me during my pregnancy. I was often unhappy of the situation, but Baby boy was not born with a huge birthmark.

Finally, a pregnant woman has to protect herself against evil spirit. It is recommended that she carries with her a pouch with salt, a piece of charcoal, a fresh lemon and some wood or iron. It is supposed to protect her particularly during sunset- hour in which all evil spirits appear. I try not to believe in evil spirits and such. I often laugh at my mother when she checks whether or not I am carrying my pouch. However, I cannot ignore this way of protecting myself entirely for the following two reasons: it has been done for many years by women all over the country; and second it is a formula that works even for children: I put the pouch underneath Baby boy’s pillow once because he was having nightmares, and that night he slept like a baby.

Pregnancy should be a magical time, a time when you should relax and try to bond with the alien growing inside of you. I hate the fact that it has become a time when people scare you with old wives tale and try to put you in a bubble. I understand their concerns and their practices because it is the way things have been done in this country. There is not much I can do about it. Nevertheless, I wish I were left alone to live my pregnancy the way I chose to without being afraid of being judged. Why not wear a jean and t-shirt as long as I feel comfortable in it? And who says that I have to be constantly in movement to assure a hassle free labor? Well my mother in law does: she recommends that I do household chores or walk many miles after a meal to feel fine. She maybe right but I cannot see myself walk or do anything after lunch under this heat except taking a nap. And believe me for someone who has problems sleeping at night now and who may face hundred of sleepless nights once they baby is born, a nap sounds like a good idea.
I just want to be left alone to do or live how I choose to, pregnant or not. But unfortunately that is something people will never let you do in this country.