I am sleepy. A year ago, at the same time, the same hour, I was probably sleepy if not asleep. Things have not really changed since then, yet they have changed a lot.
My boy is older now and healthy. I could never thank GOD enough for that.
He is getting bigger and stronger. And everyday, he is learning new things.
My life is becoming easier in ways I would have never imagined a year ago. Let me rephrase that: I have imagined those ways but I could not believe they would arrive so soon.
I used to day dream of a day when I would not have to hold, feed (breastfeed)Baby Boy ,and wake up in the middle of the night. Now this day is almost near.
Baby Boy is walking and enjoys running. He likes to walk freely and explores. He does not want anyone to hold his hands, except when he encounters an obstacle such as stairs.
Baby Boy is no longer breastfeeding. My milk seems to be a thing of the past for him. He enjoys whole milk and does not nag me about being breastfed like he used to do whenever he was hungry, tired or cranky.
Moreover, he is actually starting to eat by himself, picking cookies or grapes that I laid on the table for him, or sipping on his cup for water or milk. He even wants to use a spoon or a fork and feed himself, although he makes a mess.
Baby boy started to sleep all night a week ago. He used to sleep long hours, but he would always wake up in the middle of the night for some milk, breast-or whole. Now that he was weaned on breast milk, it took him more than a month to stop waking up at night. Now he can sleeps from 9:00PM to 9:00 AM without interruption. It is a miracle.
On top of that, it seems that he acquired a new form of intelligence, permitting him to mimic us: such as trying to wash clothes with a soap, trying to wash himself with a cloth, answering and talking on the phone (or everything that looks like a phone), combing his hair, dancing (favorite tune: "I like to move it" from movie Madagascar) and even talking (favorite words: GOD, shit and damn-you know where that comes from)
Things are surely getting easier. However, they are getting worse as well. Little Prince is developing a character, based on frustration and stubbornness. He is so used to hearing the word "No" thrown at him, does he does not care about the meaning anymore. He does whatever he wants. When he does not have it his ways, he throws tantrum, wailing all around the house. He thinks that life (our lives) revolves around him (he may be right, but that does not give him the right to act like he does). And everything should be for him, made for him. He has been difficult to be disciplined particularly when you cannot stand to see his tears or sad face like me.
Yet, he is a sweetheart, he would give you a kiss or a hug (most of the times, when he wants something from you). And even when he knows you are angry at him, and he is crying, he would seek your approval by trying to hug you or clapping his hands (we often clap our hands and tell him good job when he does something good or right to encourage him).
Maybe now, I can skip the dream and actually enjoy the day when things got easier and I enjoy a full-non-stop 8 hours sleep.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Addiction
People have addictions. Some are strong and dangerous like drug or alcohol addiction, others are more or less harmless like shoes addiction (my case). My Baby has a breast addiction.
I tried to tell it to my husband and he told me not to say such a nasty thing. I told it to my best friend and she just laughed at me. But I know that he really has a breast addiction.
Most babies are breastfed. Mine was no exception. He used to be fed 10 to 12 times a day the first months of his life. Then it decreased progressively. Baby boy alternated breast milk and soy milk. He loved both.
However, things are different now. Since his last trip back home, he stopped drinking soy milk and even stop sucking his pacifier altogether. Changes in his environment and diet, forced him to relay on breast milk alone.
Before that Baby Boy needed breast milk but now, he is addicted. He needs his fix particularly when he is sleepy or when he wakes up in the middle of the night. When the "fever" kicks in, he begins to cry in an annoying and loud manner and tries to reach for my breast. The longer I take to give it to him, the meaner and louder he gets. Lately he even started screaming and throwing those infamous tantrums only capable by toddlers. And when he gets the breast, he indulges for 5 mns and either falls asleep or go back to playing like nothing happened.
The reason Baby Boy is like that is entirely my doing. I was advised to sleep in a different bedroom as Little Prince so to avoid him being too attached to me. But I always thought that it was too cruel to leave baby all alone in his big room.
I was advised to let him cry once he wakes up in the middle of the night, in order for him to learn how to go back to sleep on his own. But I could not bear to hear him cry.
I was advised not to breastfeed him at night, but it was just easier for me to get him back to sleep quicker than holding him.
The truth is I was just plain lazy; lazy to do the right thing by him and for me. I wanted everything to be easier and I made them easier.
This was not a big issue until I decided to wean him. Now, I have to break the addiction. Little Prince and I will have to suffer, him not having his favorite breast to calm down, and me supporting his incessant wailing. I will have to wake up in the middle of the night and find a way to make him go back to sleep without having to use my breasts. It will be hard. I apprehend the worst.
Now, when I think of it, I should have made things more complicated when he was smaller. But, this is motherhood....I will learn the hard way, and try not to make the same mistakes in the future..........
I tried to tell it to my husband and he told me not to say such a nasty thing. I told it to my best friend and she just laughed at me. But I know that he really has a breast addiction.
Most babies are breastfed. Mine was no exception. He used to be fed 10 to 12 times a day the first months of his life. Then it decreased progressively. Baby boy alternated breast milk and soy milk. He loved both.
However, things are different now. Since his last trip back home, he stopped drinking soy milk and even stop sucking his pacifier altogether. Changes in his environment and diet, forced him to relay on breast milk alone.
Before that Baby Boy needed breast milk but now, he is addicted. He needs his fix particularly when he is sleepy or when he wakes up in the middle of the night. When the "fever" kicks in, he begins to cry in an annoying and loud manner and tries to reach for my breast. The longer I take to give it to him, the meaner and louder he gets. Lately he even started screaming and throwing those infamous tantrums only capable by toddlers. And when he gets the breast, he indulges for 5 mns and either falls asleep or go back to playing like nothing happened.
The reason Baby Boy is like that is entirely my doing. I was advised to sleep in a different bedroom as Little Prince so to avoid him being too attached to me. But I always thought that it was too cruel to leave baby all alone in his big room.
I was advised to let him cry once he wakes up in the middle of the night, in order for him to learn how to go back to sleep on his own. But I could not bear to hear him cry.
I was advised not to breastfeed him at night, but it was just easier for me to get him back to sleep quicker than holding him.
The truth is I was just plain lazy; lazy to do the right thing by him and for me. I wanted everything to be easier and I made them easier.
This was not a big issue until I decided to wean him. Now, I have to break the addiction. Little Prince and I will have to suffer, him not having his favorite breast to calm down, and me supporting his incessant wailing. I will have to wake up in the middle of the night and find a way to make him go back to sleep without having to use my breasts. It will be hard. I apprehend the worst.
Now, when I think of it, I should have made things more complicated when he was smaller. But, this is motherhood....I will learn the hard way, and try not to make the same mistakes in the future..........
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The disciplinary parent
I grew up in a simple and united family. My parents split the role of parenting. My Mother was more than often the disciplinary parent and my father was the soother. My Mother is tough, and strict. She always wanted the best out of us: to be the best behaved children in the neighborhood, the most neatly dressed, the kids with the best grades at school. And she knew how to get her ways: by beating us up or by scolding us for hours. With that behavior she alienated herself from us.
My Father on the other hand was soft spoken even if he was scolding us and he would often come between my Mother and us, complaining that she was too severe and asking her to leave us alone. Soon enough, he became our friend and the one we would go to whenever we had problems.
I grew up thinking that if ever I had children, I would never act like my mother. I would become their friends and confident, and have a close bond with them. But as much as I wanted to be different from my Mother, I knew that I would probably become like her some day.
So imagine my surprise when I realised that I was being too soft trying to discipline my baby.
Little Prince maybe young but it is about time that he is disciplined. He has to learn the difference between what is wrong and right for his own safety.
His father is the tough one. He does not mind scolding him, even if the baby cries his lungs out. He can leave him alone in his room for him to fall asleep and would not be moved by his cry of help.
As far as I am concerned, I cannot stand Baby Boy crying. My heart bleeds everytime, and I run to him to see what is wrong. But the problem is that by now, Little Prince has understood how to get me. He knows that he just needs to cry to catch Mommy's attention. Or that he just needs to scream in order for me to let him do whatever bad thing he was doing.
As a result of this behavior, I have the feeling that Baby Boy does not regard me as an authority figure. He views me as his equal or worse his servant. Someone he can run to when he needs to be fed or changed, or when he wants to hide from his father's discipline.
I know I should step up and become more strict with him. However, it is just not in me to be tough. I wanna practice tough love, but I need to be tough myself for Baby boy's sake and mine as well.
My Father on the other hand was soft spoken even if he was scolding us and he would often come between my Mother and us, complaining that she was too severe and asking her to leave us alone. Soon enough, he became our friend and the one we would go to whenever we had problems.
I grew up thinking that if ever I had children, I would never act like my mother. I would become their friends and confident, and have a close bond with them. But as much as I wanted to be different from my Mother, I knew that I would probably become like her some day.
So imagine my surprise when I realised that I was being too soft trying to discipline my baby.
Little Prince maybe young but it is about time that he is disciplined. He has to learn the difference between what is wrong and right for his own safety.
His father is the tough one. He does not mind scolding him, even if the baby cries his lungs out. He can leave him alone in his room for him to fall asleep and would not be moved by his cry of help.
As far as I am concerned, I cannot stand Baby Boy crying. My heart bleeds everytime, and I run to him to see what is wrong. But the problem is that by now, Little Prince has understood how to get me. He knows that he just needs to cry to catch Mommy's attention. Or that he just needs to scream in order for me to let him do whatever bad thing he was doing.
As a result of this behavior, I have the feeling that Baby Boy does not regard me as an authority figure. He views me as his equal or worse his servant. Someone he can run to when he needs to be fed or changed, or when he wants to hide from his father's discipline.
I know I should step up and become more strict with him. However, it is just not in me to be tough. I wanna practice tough love, but I need to be tough myself for Baby boy's sake and mine as well.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Am I a bad mother?
When I take time to think about all the journey of motherhood, I reflect on whether or not I am a bad mother. I know what a good mother is, or is supposed to be. I know how she must feel and act toward her child. So, does it mean that if I act or feel different to the way she feels or act, I am a bad mother?
They say you feel motherly the moment your baby is born. But I did not feel a thing when Little Prince was born. I was numb and tired, and sick -I threw up some minutes later-. I did not get to hold him because he was rushed to the intensive care unit. I was doing fine in my hospital room, finally able to eat something -after 14 hours of hunger- and enjoying TV. My husband abandoned me to check on the baby. The feeling of being a mother did not hit me until several hours after the delivery. It hit me hard when I checked on both my husband and my baby at the NI CU. I had some 5 mns to see him and then I had to leave him there. That moment, I cried...I was finally becoming a mother.
However, I am still not a good mother. I should think about him more often, what he needs, how he should be protected. But my frivolous nature makes me want to put myself first.
My errors in the past made me realise what good mothers do and do not do. Good mothers do not let their children fall out of the bed, or burn themselves with an iron. Good mothers remember to give their children their vitamins everyday. Good mothers do not watch TV all day, instead of respecting the schedule of their children. Good mothers put the well being of their children before their own.
I am not a good mother. It is plain bullshit to use the excuse that I am no good at what I should do best because Baby Boy is my first child.
I once promised someone lost that I would be the best mother one has ever seen. And I should be ashamed I did not keep that promise.
So what should I do to get myself forgiven? Start becoming a average mother for I know there is long ride to getting to be a good mother-And do not even get me started on perfect mothers. But I will get there because for as long as Baby Boy lives (and for as long as I shall live; if GOD will we shall live a long long time), I am still on time....
They say you feel motherly the moment your baby is born. But I did not feel a thing when Little Prince was born. I was numb and tired, and sick -I threw up some minutes later-. I did not get to hold him because he was rushed to the intensive care unit. I was doing fine in my hospital room, finally able to eat something -after 14 hours of hunger- and enjoying TV. My husband abandoned me to check on the baby. The feeling of being a mother did not hit me until several hours after the delivery. It hit me hard when I checked on both my husband and my baby at the NI CU. I had some 5 mns to see him and then I had to leave him there. That moment, I cried...I was finally becoming a mother.
However, I am still not a good mother. I should think about him more often, what he needs, how he should be protected. But my frivolous nature makes me want to put myself first.
My errors in the past made me realise what good mothers do and do not do. Good mothers do not let their children fall out of the bed, or burn themselves with an iron. Good mothers remember to give their children their vitamins everyday. Good mothers do not watch TV all day, instead of respecting the schedule of their children. Good mothers put the well being of their children before their own.
I am not a good mother. It is plain bullshit to use the excuse that I am no good at what I should do best because Baby Boy is my first child.
I once promised someone lost that I would be the best mother one has ever seen. And I should be ashamed I did not keep that promise.
So what should I do to get myself forgiven? Start becoming a average mother for I know there is long ride to getting to be a good mother-And do not even get me started on perfect mothers. But I will get there because for as long as Baby Boy lives (and for as long as I shall live; if GOD will we shall live a long long time), I am still on time....
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Accidents happen
Yesterday, Baby boy burned himself playing with the iron I was using. I thought I put the iron out of his reach but I must have underestimated his ability to stretch his body to go for objects out of his reach. What happened is that the iron still hot fell on his hand and burned him. He cried and I tried to soothe his pain by applying cold water on the wound.After a trip to the doc,he is doing fine. He just needs to have his hand cleaned and treated with a cream for a while.
Accidents happen. This was a major one. It scared the "s..." out of me, excuse my French. I was warned since Little Prince was crawling and cruising, that I should pay more attention to him. I should put all dangerous objects out of his reach, avoid carrying hot foods or drinks around him...blah,blah,blah...
I was being careful because I am the last person who would want something terrible to happen to my Baby. But accidents happen.
Baby Boy already fell many times from my bed where he was sleeping. He knocked his head more than twice on our coffee table; he bumped his skull on the floor, he even managed to jam his hand inside one of our cupboards.
You may ask, why we did not baby proof our house or at least buy a small play yard to put him in? Well,the answer is simple, I come from a place where we do not baby proof, period. In my house, my Mother made sure that her children were safe, but it was not by putting gates on dangerous places or put locks on cupboards. She put dangerous things out of our reach, and she let us go to the adventure. Only when you let children free to discover the world around them, that they can learn and bloom.
I am not sure Little Prince learned from this accident. But I sure did learn something: never to iron near him again...
Accidents happen. This was a major one. It scared the "s..." out of me, excuse my French. I was warned since Little Prince was crawling and cruising, that I should pay more attention to him. I should put all dangerous objects out of his reach, avoid carrying hot foods or drinks around him...blah,blah,blah...
I was being careful because I am the last person who would want something terrible to happen to my Baby. But accidents happen.
Baby Boy already fell many times from my bed where he was sleeping. He knocked his head more than twice on our coffee table; he bumped his skull on the floor, he even managed to jam his hand inside one of our cupboards.
You may ask, why we did not baby proof our house or at least buy a small play yard to put him in? Well,the answer is simple, I come from a place where we do not baby proof, period. In my house, my Mother made sure that her children were safe, but it was not by putting gates on dangerous places or put locks on cupboards. She put dangerous things out of our reach, and she let us go to the adventure. Only when you let children free to discover the world around them, that they can learn and bloom.
I am not sure Little Prince learned from this accident. But I sure did learn something: never to iron near him again...
Friday, April 20, 2007
Blame the baby
My husband asked me this morning what happened to the book about "Babyhood" I wanted to write. Well, like other projects I want to accomplish in my life, it will have to be put on hold. The reason: I am too busy with my baby to do anything else. Or at least, that is what I tell people around me.
But this is a big fat lie. I am lying to my family and friends, but most importantly I am lying to myself.Ok, it takes time to take care of the baby, but if I set my mind to it I can do all the things I want to do.
However it is easier to blame it all on Little Prince: like how I cannot clean my house to the fullest because he is so attached to me. Or like I cannot write more emails to my family because he wants to play with my computer. I cannot go out, work out, learn how to drive, or work...
The truth is that I am plain lazy. Lazy to shake my ass and go get what I really want in life. I am a failure, and it is easier to blame my lame life on motherhood.
I rather watch TV all day, or lie down watching the time pass by than bracing the real world. I would rather pretend that Baby Boy is the main reason why I have not accomplished anything that important in my life yet.
If I do not brush myself off and get on with my life (actually starting to do something like learning how to drive, get a job), I will end up being an old and bitter woman with nothing to call her own, and envious of the one who made it around herself. Worse than that is that I will keep on blaming the baby who is no longer a baby.
But this is a big fat lie. I am lying to my family and friends, but most importantly I am lying to myself.Ok, it takes time to take care of the baby, but if I set my mind to it I can do all the things I want to do.
However it is easier to blame it all on Little Prince: like how I cannot clean my house to the fullest because he is so attached to me. Or like I cannot write more emails to my family because he wants to play with my computer. I cannot go out, work out, learn how to drive, or work...
The truth is that I am plain lazy. Lazy to shake my ass and go get what I really want in life. I am a failure, and it is easier to blame my lame life on motherhood.
I rather watch TV all day, or lie down watching the time pass by than bracing the real world. I would rather pretend that Baby Boy is the main reason why I have not accomplished anything that important in my life yet.
If I do not brush myself off and get on with my life (actually starting to do something like learning how to drive, get a job), I will end up being an old and bitter woman with nothing to call her own, and envious of the one who made it around herself. Worse than that is that I will keep on blaming the baby who is no longer a baby.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Second Love
For many years, it used to be me and my husband. We would spend our weekdays separately, him working and me studying. At night, we would share our routine of dining in front of the T.V. and discuss the events of the day. The weekends were moments for us to enjoy the outside world, strolling by the sea, biking in our neighborhood or enjoying shopping in the mall. It used to be the two of us and although I was happy, I felt something was missing...
Now, Little Prince is here. He filled the blank in my life. He is my joy, my pride, my second love. He is more than my second love; he is my Love.
He is replacing my husband in almost all levels and I think it is becoming serious. He takes the space my hubby used to lay in next to me in bed. He holds on me tight at night. He showers with me, enjoying the water falling down on our naked bodies. He is the one who smiles at me, and does not run from my kisses. He lets me hug him, and touch him without shying away.
I stopped kissing, hugging, being intimate with my husband. It is not that I wanted to stop; it is just that the routine of taking care of my baby is getting to me. I am so tired sometimes that the idea of being intimate does not cross my mind. Or when it does cross my mind, my hubby is busy with something else, or sleepy himself. So I transfer all the intimacy I need to my baby. Do not get me wrong, I am not referring to sex, but intimacy.
I never really been the hugging, cuddly type of person. I avoided touching people for as long as I remember. When I was in high school, I attended a boarding school. When I came home for holidays, my mother expected me to kiss her to greet her, but I rarely could do it. I never kissed or hugged my own brothers. And it was always difficult to become intimate with new boyfriends.
I love to hug and cuddle but it is just hard for me to do it. The fear of being rejected is so present inside of me that I prefer to be cold than attempt to hug or kiss someone even my own husband. (Thank GOD, he is getting used to it and as a solution to this issue, he is kissing and hugging me instead)
Everything is different with Little Prince. I can hug him and kiss him without fearing a rejection because he is so little. He can wiggle his way out of my hugs but he can never go too far from me. And now that he is getting to know me a little better, he is actually "running" to get some hugs and kisses from me. He even hugs me back which is the best feeling ever. I do not have to fear rejection because I know he needs me more than anything else in the world. He does not know it or understand it yet but for now, I am his Love.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Letting go
My people are big immigrants. They migrate to better horizons in order to find revenue that will help them provide for their entire family. In the past, only men went and stay abroad, leaving wives and children behind.
However, recently, those wives also migrated to join their husband to support them or to work as well. Parents knowing that a woman was worth a man, starting to let their daughters go abroad to take their chance at this game. This new form of migration caused serious social problems back home. One problem that draws my attention is the one concerning children.
Back home, the trend is for those women leaving and giving birth in foreign countries, to send their children back home to be raised by their grandparents. Babies as young as 3 months are "shipped" home because their mothers cannot take care of them and try to earn a living at the same time.
In my country, a new mother always have the help and support of her family starting with her own mother. If she is working and has little money, she can hire a maid to take care of the baby. But abroad, you are left alone. And hiring a maid is out of question if you are hoping to save some money. So what new mother do, they send their babies back home where everything is better and preferably cheaper.
I used to see new mothers, family members and friends doing the same. I used to judge them. I thought that it was too easy. After all it was your baby and you should take care of him,her.
After spending some time home, I became to change my mind. I realized that my Baby had bloomed in the short amount of time he spent with his extended family. He was smiling more, playing more, eating more...He even said his first word during our journey. He was a changed baby and this was not due to us his parents. Did he have more to gain living with his family back home or staying with his two parents?
There was not straight answer to this question. But what is sure is that:
1. Baby Boy is getting more and more attached to me.
2. I may never be able to work (or at least until he enrolls in kindergarten)
3. Little Prince needs his extended family
4. He may learn more by being with them than us
5. His extended family needs him as well
What should I do? Should I leave him back home, where he can get educated in the values of my country and my religion? And if ever I let him home, will I not miss him? Will he miss me? Will he forget me? Will his affection shift to another person? Will the bond that I work hard to build with him be broken?
I do not know....
However, recently, those wives also migrated to join their husband to support them or to work as well. Parents knowing that a woman was worth a man, starting to let their daughters go abroad to take their chance at this game. This new form of migration caused serious social problems back home. One problem that draws my attention is the one concerning children.
Back home, the trend is for those women leaving and giving birth in foreign countries, to send their children back home to be raised by their grandparents. Babies as young as 3 months are "shipped" home because their mothers cannot take care of them and try to earn a living at the same time.
In my country, a new mother always have the help and support of her family starting with her own mother. If she is working and has little money, she can hire a maid to take care of the baby. But abroad, you are left alone. And hiring a maid is out of question if you are hoping to save some money. So what new mother do, they send their babies back home where everything is better and preferably cheaper.
I used to see new mothers, family members and friends doing the same. I used to judge them. I thought that it was too easy. After all it was your baby and you should take care of him,her.
After spending some time home, I became to change my mind. I realized that my Baby had bloomed in the short amount of time he spent with his extended family. He was smiling more, playing more, eating more...He even said his first word during our journey. He was a changed baby and this was not due to us his parents. Did he have more to gain living with his family back home or staying with his two parents?
There was not straight answer to this question. But what is sure is that:
1. Baby Boy is getting more and more attached to me.
2. I may never be able to work (or at least until he enrolls in kindergarten)
3. Little Prince needs his extended family
4. He may learn more by being with them than us
5. His extended family needs him as well
What should I do? Should I leave him back home, where he can get educated in the values of my country and my religion? And if ever I let him home, will I not miss him? Will he miss me? Will he forget me? Will his affection shift to another person? Will the bond that I work hard to build with him be broken?
I do not know....
Back Home
For the holidays, we planned a trip back home to visit the family. Baby Boy was to meet his grandparents, uncles and aunts for the first time. We were excited to introduce him to his extended family but also to savour some rest well deserved.
Everyone at home welcomed the baby and treated him like he was a Sultan. Baby Boy was also happy to discover this new world around him. The more time he spent with his newly found family, the more he grew to like them....
Before the trip, I apprehended that Little Prince would not be able to mingle back home. I thought he would get sick with the change of weather, the insects, the dust and other factors that were unknown to him. But to my surprise, Baby Boy fit right in this new place...
For starter, Baby Boy ate all the food that his family, particularly his Grandmother- my Mother in Law- gave him to taste; from spicy rice to exotic fruit -not forgetting sodas- he devoured everything. Sometimes, it came to the point the we could not eat without him begging us for a taste. I was both happy and worried; Happy because it showed that even if Baby Boy was born abroad, he still loved his original country's dishes...Also it showed that he was growing up since he could process solid food. But I was worried this consumption of new food would cause some damage to his system. ( I was right to be worried because he developed some acne on his face probably caused by the oily rice)
Then, Baby Boy said his first words "Mama", "Baba". Just some days passed at home make him babble the wished words. I was so excited and happy. I was even mocking my husband because Baby Boy first word were "dedicated" to me. I was sure that the ability to express himself was further developed by listening to more people other than my husband and I talking. To my surprise, he was even singing along with my mother a Xmas carol-even though he was very out of tune- I was impressed.
But the most interesting thing was traditional and mystical dos and don't, my mothers-on both side- taught me. Little things that make a huge difference in the Baby's life. For example, I was never to cut the nails of Baby Boy for fear that he would become literally "someone that takes" (or a thief). Or, I should hold on to my Boy at dawn to protect him against the bad spirits.
I am a skeptical person myself and I pretend not to believe in mystic things. But it was hard not to believe in those things after seeing the changes it brought to Little Prince. For example, my baby used to wake up frightened in the middle of the night, sometimes even screaming. My mother in law recommended to put a metal bracelet on his left ankle. The day we did it, Baby Boy slept like an angel and did not wake up scared. I was blown away.
Going home is very hard for me since I got married. The reason lies in the fact that I have to pretend to be the best daughter in law, and have less opportunity to see my own family. Despite all that, I can see how going home is what is best for Little Prince. He is in his element there, surrounded by so many people who loves him. He has his Dad and I here, and we are doing our best, but didn't they say that is takes a village to raise a child?
Everyone at home welcomed the baby and treated him like he was a Sultan. Baby Boy was also happy to discover this new world around him. The more time he spent with his newly found family, the more he grew to like them....
Before the trip, I apprehended that Little Prince would not be able to mingle back home. I thought he would get sick with the change of weather, the insects, the dust and other factors that were unknown to him. But to my surprise, Baby Boy fit right in this new place...
For starter, Baby Boy ate all the food that his family, particularly his Grandmother- my Mother in Law- gave him to taste; from spicy rice to exotic fruit -not forgetting sodas- he devoured everything. Sometimes, it came to the point the we could not eat without him begging us for a taste. I was both happy and worried; Happy because it showed that even if Baby Boy was born abroad, he still loved his original country's dishes...Also it showed that he was growing up since he could process solid food. But I was worried this consumption of new food would cause some damage to his system. ( I was right to be worried because he developed some acne on his face probably caused by the oily rice)
Then, Baby Boy said his first words "Mama", "Baba". Just some days passed at home make him babble the wished words. I was so excited and happy. I was even mocking my husband because Baby Boy first word were "dedicated" to me. I was sure that the ability to express himself was further developed by listening to more people other than my husband and I talking. To my surprise, he was even singing along with my mother a Xmas carol-even though he was very out of tune- I was impressed.
But the most interesting thing was traditional and mystical dos and don't, my mothers-on both side- taught me. Little things that make a huge difference in the Baby's life. For example, I was never to cut the nails of Baby Boy for fear that he would become literally "someone that takes" (or a thief). Or, I should hold on to my Boy at dawn to protect him against the bad spirits.
I am a skeptical person myself and I pretend not to believe in mystic things. But it was hard not to believe in those things after seeing the changes it brought to Little Prince. For example, my baby used to wake up frightened in the middle of the night, sometimes even screaming. My mother in law recommended to put a metal bracelet on his left ankle. The day we did it, Baby Boy slept like an angel and did not wake up scared. I was blown away.
Going home is very hard for me since I got married. The reason lies in the fact that I have to pretend to be the best daughter in law, and have less opportunity to see my own family. Despite all that, I can see how going home is what is best for Little Prince. He is in his element there, surrounded by so many people who loves him. He has his Dad and I here, and we are doing our best, but didn't they say that is takes a village to raise a child?
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