My husband asked me this morning what happened to the book about "Babyhood" I wanted to write. Well, like other projects I want to accomplish in my life, it will have to be put on hold. The reason: I am too busy with my baby to do anything else. Or at least, that is what I tell people around me.
But this is a big fat lie. I am lying to my family and friends, but most importantly I am lying to myself.Ok, it takes time to take care of the baby, but if I set my mind to it I can do all the things I want to do.
However it is easier to blame it all on Little Prince: like how I cannot clean my house to the fullest because he is so attached to me. Or like I cannot write more emails to my family because he wants to play with my computer. I cannot go out, work out, learn how to drive, or work...
The truth is that I am plain lazy. Lazy to shake my ass and go get what I really want in life. I am a failure, and it is easier to blame my lame life on motherhood.
I rather watch TV all day, or lie down watching the time pass by than bracing the real world. I would rather pretend that Baby Boy is the main reason why I have not accomplished anything that important in my life yet.
If I do not brush myself off and get on with my life (actually starting to do something like learning how to drive, get a job), I will end up being an old and bitter woman with nothing to call her own, and envious of the one who made it around herself. Worse than that is that I will keep on blaming the baby who is no longer a baby.
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