Is it worth it?

There is nothing special about Noda Seiko. She is a politician and an active member of the Japanese Parliament. At point in her career, she was even minister.

What makes Noda special is the fact that at age 50, she gave birth for the 1st time to a boy. She documented her entire journey in a movie called "I wanted to be a mother".

Noda wanted a child but she was faced with conception problems. She took fertilization drugs and even succeeded in getting pregnant to only have miscarriages. She considered adoption but was told that due to her advance age, it would be rather difficult. Her last resort at 50 was to seek an egg donor. So off to the United States she went to get an egg donor and have that egg fertilized with her partner's sperm. She got pregnant through in vitro.

However near the middle of her pregnancy she was told that her baby to be was already facing several health problems. She was asked to be in bed rest for the final months of the pregnancy to protect her baby to be.

Her son was finally born earlier than scheduled. He was delivered through c-section and immediately rushed to have surgeries. His vital organs such as his stomach were growing out of his stomach and they need to be sealed in a pouch to be protected against infection.
The poor frail little thing had more health problems to come; he needed by-pass surgery, plus his oesophagus was not connected to his stomach so he could not swallow the milk his mother pumped for him. He had to receive food through IV. Moreover at the age of 6 months, when his mother thought that he was about ready to go home, he suffered  a stroke. As a result, his left side was paralysed. Worse of all was when they had to cut his vocal chords because he kept have reflux with his oesophagus. He could not keep the food he was swallowing. This kid has more health problems that an adult suffering from a chronic illness.

All through his ordeal, his parents were by his side supporting him the best way they could. They would spend endless hours in he hospital talking to him, trying to bond with him. When they were faced with new health problems, they tried to stay positive. His mother kept on repeating that she only wanted him to live. "As long as he keeps on living, he keeps on fighting..I am happy." was the mantra she had.

That made me think: Is it really worth it? That kid is suffering to live. He is bed ridden, all kinds of tubes inserted in his body, many other surgeries to come. He may survive and live a long life but what quality of life will he have?He maybe mentally and physically handicapped. He would probably need constant special care. Moreover his parents are not young (his mother is 50 and his father is 46). Will they be able to take care of him as he grows? And who will if something happens to them?

I always think that women have the right to do whatever it takes to become a mother ( as long as it is not criminal). I do not want to judge women who spend endless money at fertility clinics just for the hope of feeling a baby grow inside of them. I do that for the simple reason that so far in my life it has been easy for me to get pregnant. I never knew what these women went through when they were told over and over again that the baby they were hoping for did not come. I try to put myself in their shoes and understand their pains.


However after watching the movie that Noda Seiko made about her son, I started to have doubts. I saw her as a selfish woman who just wanted a kid no matter what it meant. The kid is suffering and she is happy to be a mother. Am I too harsh to think that way? Well, if you think that certain people who neglect or abuse their children should never have become parents, you must think that wanting to be a mother of a child with no quality of life is just wrong.

It is not said in the documentary that Noda's age must have been a factor as to why her son is so sick. But it was revealed that Noda had reproductive organs in bad shape. In fact just after giving birth, she had to have her uterus removed due to continuous bleeding. It is not difficult to connect the dots. She was in no shape to have a child. It is a miracle she had her son.

Masaki (Noda's son) is now 1 year old and still fighting for his life. He is strong, therefore he has a great chance of making it. I hope he grows strong and become healthy. It could happen but what are the odds? I do believe in life and preserving it no matter what but I could not help but wonder if it is really worth it in this case.