A violent earthquake shattered Japan recently.
I was in the bus on my way to pick up my son from school. The bus moved violently sideways for what was less than 2 minutes (it felt like ages if you ask me). I did not panic but I was nervous. I knew this was just the beginning and I was happy to pick up my son safe and sound some minutes later.
After the earthquake, came a tsunami that devastated a good part of northern Japan. 8000 people died and 10.000 are still missing. Houses were destroyed leaving survivors in shelters. But the most atrocious thing that could come out of this earthquake was the threat of a nuclear meltdown. Japan has some nuclear plants up north needed to pump electricity to the entire country. Due to the earthquake and tsunami those plants were not operational and they started to explode (or at least the walls that were protecting them). People (particularly expatriates) started to panic and evacuate.
I evacuated with my family to Bangkok, Thailand as well. I like to tell myself that I did not runaway from the Japan I love since it was a planned holiday. But I know better. The stress of living in Japan, even if I was in a safe environment was too much to bear. I could not sleep, eat like crazy and could not breathe. Watching the news or checking my emails was causing me enormous stress. I felt anxious and guilty. Guilty that I was safe but complaining of stress.
During this ordeal, I learned a lot about people. I learned that some people were good friends. They emailed me asking for my status, they called stressing their concern. They even offered help.
However, I also learned that such a state of panic causes people to go crazy and act in what I call not civil ways.
I call those people Monster Parents. "Monster Parents" is a term used (particularly in Japan) to describe parents who like to bother teachers they do not like. They go to great length to sabotage the work of those teachers under the pretext that those teachers were not good to their children. This problem is getting very serious in Japan. Recently a teacher who had been provoked by a mother decided to take legal actions against her. And a documentary explained that many teachers consult psys and take medications because they cannot deal with the monster parents.
The parents I would like to talk about in my article are not real monster parents. In fact, I think they are just nice people in real life. However, the stress and panic led by the earthquakes is pushing them to act in ways I do find to be offensive.
First of all, they accused the school not to communicate with them as frequently as possible in the wake of the earthquake. According to them the school was not doing enough to let them know about the situation. They compared the school with other international schools who were sending messages every hour.
Second, they send the school messages asking what will happen of the tuition they already paid for the 9 days the school will be closed (the school decided to close for 9 days just after the earthquake). Moreover, they expressed their disagreement at rushing the children into their curriculum before the end of the school to make up for lost time, all the while assuming that it was what the school decided to do.
All these communications were done by email sent to all the parents of the school. Some responded showing support, others reacted negatively. Needless to say that the school felt really hurt to all those reproaches.
As for me, I felt bad for the school when I read those emails. I felt as if we- parents- did not give it enough credit. I found it paradoxical that parents chose this school for their children but that they were criticising it as soon as something terrible happened. We did not even give it time to react before blaming them for whatever fault we are blaming it. To top it all, it is hypocritical to ask for something to be done academically for the loss of time when most of the parents (and their children) had fled the country and do not know when they are coming back.
I had to finally add my two cents to the discussion. I could not sit and tolerate it any longer. I ask for parents to let the school do their job. And if they could not, to at least wait until the school resume its functions to call for a meeting between the school and the parents. In the mean time, parents should share ideas as to what they want the school to do and present those ideas during the meeting.
I am waiting to see what the response to my email will be.
In conclusion, I think catastrophes such as this earthquake brings out the bad in people. They behave strangely because they are stress and fear for their future. I think they behavior is understandable. Yet, it is important to stay positive in times like this. I am happy to say that I discovered that people who were sweet in normal times, stay the same (if their sweetness did not increase). They were sending emails with important information, and all the while comforting parents. I will be forever thankful to those people.
I do not know how the situation in Japan will evolve. I do pray that the nuclear plants will not cause problems and that we can all safely go back "home". I also pray that we find a good solution to all the problems with the school in a reasonable way.
Time will tell.
