The Mob

As we have moved to a new (why they say "new"? It is not new) different place recently, our lives have completely changed. Since July 2010, my family and I moved to Japan. For 2 months we were living out of our suitcases, in hotels and struggling to get settle in our new apartment. Things have not been easy but we are getting there.
One of the big changes that affected us was the fact that Little Prince entered a new school. In the US, he was used to a small scale day care center. But here in Japan, he is in a big international school. The school arbors different nationalities, and offers classes up to high school. My son is actually enrolled in the Montessori Pre-K program. He is in a class with 11 other children and has two teachers. The program is very different from what he was used to. However so far, he has been able to follow it. I may even add that he loves it.

I also love the school but not only because my son seems to be happy there. I love the school because they have a support system that helps newly arrived family. The school being international, it welcomes mostly expatriate families that come to Japan for work. Usually those families get help from relocation agents as was the case with us. But there is so much that those agents cannot do. Sometimes, you need the advice of someone who has been there and done that. The mothers of the school form a group that welcome the new comers and provide information not only about the school but also about life in Japan. Those women are so well organized that my husband nicknamed them The Mob.

As far as I know the women of the Mob are not into illegal activities and they do not whack anyone. However, they are so well organized that it is hard not to compare them to it. Once a month, they have a meeting to discuss problems in the school and bring reforms. Moreover, they have another more public meeting, where they discuss interesting topics concerning life in Japan, and they invite third parties to introduce their clubs or programs to the women. This is only at the official level.
At the unofficial level, they help more than anyone would know. Only by discussing at the school playground while their kids are playing, they share important information with new comers. For example, they would tell you where to shop for international food, where to go to buy a used car, they would recommend a doctor. It is such an interesting process that we all end up shopping at the same place, buying cars at the same company and seeing the same doctor.

What I mostly love about the Mob is that they have this enrichment program. The enrichment program is a program in which mothers at the school provide free lessons such as cooking, language and cultural classes. The enrichment program was initiated by the school to help new comers to enjoy their stay in Japan. Moreover it was to show the children at the school that learning is a lifelong process; even adults needed to learn something. With the exception of professionals who donate their free time, mothers of the school offers those lessons. There are dancing, cooking, gym, language classes but also classes about Japanese culture such as Ikebana (flower arrangement), Origami and Aikido. The enrichment program also organizes excursions to discover the town, for example a tour at the famous 4 floors 100 Yen store, a tour of the Japanese hot springs, a tour at the museum.

For someone, who spent the last year confined at home with a baby, having very little interaction with women, meeting the Mob was a blessing. Even if I do not join any class, I have enough chat with women on a daily basis. And we have a lot of things in common being mothers and expat.  All my best friends being single and childless, it is refreshing to talk to someone who shares the same experience or lifestyle as I do.
I did join some classes and enjoy every single moment of it. Having a 1 year old son blocks me from doing more. However, I am so busy with my own life in general ( I now do the shopping and without a car, it is such a pain)  and socializing, that I do not see any more space for classes. I am in the toddler's group- that is like a indoor playground for kids under the age of 3- that meets every Wednesday, and I am also doing tone and trim class every Friday. On top of that I am in the book club that meets once a month, and I am doing Indian dance twice a month. And some women meet to have coffee and chat on a daily basis. I have been invited to some women's houses for coffee, birthday parties and play dates. My husband thinks that I am so buys socializing that I even neglect my "housewife duties" such as shopping and cleaning. He is right in a way. Some days, I leave home to go to school at 8 AM and do not come back home until 1 PM. It is fun but sometimes I am so tired I wished I had a day to stay at home and enjoy some quiet time. I guess, I should not be complaining. One year ago, I would have never guessed that my life would be turned upside down.

I am not sure I quite joined the Mob. I do not even know whether or not there are conditions to join it. I just know that as a mother who is fairly new to the school, but not new to life in Japan (as I have lived here for 7 years in the past), I get helped but I also help. That is the motto of the Mob: get helped but also contribute, and be social. That is why, I organized a little party with some mothers and their children at my house yesterday. Moreover, I am going to have a Senegalese cooking class next year. If I had other skills, I would love to share them with the women. I have to rack my brain to think of something as I am clueless now. But we never know.

From now on, I think this blog will future more articles about the Mob. There is so much to talk about. I just hope I will have to all put it on paper (or on the net)

Teureudi 1号２号

In my language, "Teureudi"  is used to describe someone who cannot stay still. It is commonly used for someone who tosses and turns during his sleep.
1号２号 (pronounces Ichi Go Ni Go) is the Japanese number 1 and two, but they are usually used for things such as trains.

I combined these two words in this title to describe my two sons during their sleeps because like Shinkansen (or bullet trains) they move and disturb everything on their way.

As we have been moving from continent to continent, and hotels to hotels, I began sleeping with both my sons and my husband on the same big bed, or futon. It made me realise how difficult it is to fall asleep with two kids under four in the same bed. When they are awake, they want to play. They jump and fight like little monkeys. And I have to separate them by putting myself in the middle,  for them to finally be quiet and fall asleep. But things get worse when they do sleep: they toss and turn. If they were laying horizontally, they would end up sleeping vertically. They would kick and push their way inside the big bed until they find a better spot. The worse part is that sometimes they move so far as to fall off the bed. However, what I find to be very interesting about their way of sleeping is that subconsciously, they are both attracted to each other. If for some reason, they are far apart in the bed, sooner or later they will find their way back to each other. In other words, they would stick to each other like two new born twins. Baby boy will put his arm around Lion Prince, and the later would put his leg on his brother's stomach. Hilarious but dangerous. I have to check on them often to make sure that they do not hurt each other.

As much as I enjoy bonding with my sons in the bed, I cannot wait for them to start sleeping in their own bed. It took Baby Boy 3 years for him to finally sleep by himself in his bed and in his room. And since his younger brother is still sleeping with me, I wonder how long it will take him to sleep on his own. After Baby Boy, I had vowed that the second baby will sleep by himself on his crib and never on my bed. But things did not turn out the way I wanted to be. I failed once again. I wish I could learn from my mistakes. But I do not.
So what's a mother to do? I guess while hoping that is not too late, I need to wean the second son from myself. Once that is successfully done, I will try to use his big brother as an example and teach him how to sleep alone on his bed. Then I can take back my life. I dream of having early me time at nights while the kids sleep. I can watch some TV, write my blog or even enjoy some quality time with the hubby. I hope that day comes sooner than later....