People have addictions. Some are strong and dangerous like drug or alcohol addiction, others are more or less harmless like shoes addiction (my case). My Baby has a breast addiction.
I tried to tell it to my husband and he told me not to say such a nasty thing. I told it to my best friend and she just laughed at me. But I know that he really has a breast addiction.
Most babies are breastfed. Mine was no exception. He used to be fed 10 to 12 times a day the first months of his life. Then it decreased progressively. Baby boy alternated breast milk and soy milk. He loved both.
However, things are different now. Since his last trip back home, he stopped drinking soy milk and even stop sucking his pacifier altogether. Changes in his environment and diet, forced him to relay on breast milk alone.
Before that Baby Boy needed breast milk but now, he is addicted. He needs his fix particularly when he is sleepy or when he wakes up in the middle of the night. When the "fever" kicks in, he begins to cry in an annoying and loud manner and tries to reach for my breast. The longer I take to give it to him, the meaner and louder he gets. Lately he even started screaming and throwing those infamous tantrums only capable by toddlers. And when he gets the breast, he indulges for 5 mns and either falls asleep or go back to playing like nothing happened.
The reason Baby Boy is like that is entirely my doing. I was advised to sleep in a different bedroom as Little Prince so to avoid him being too attached to me. But I always thought that it was too cruel to leave baby all alone in his big room.
I was advised to let him cry once he wakes up in the middle of the night, in order for him to learn how to go back to sleep on his own. But I could not bear to hear him cry.
I was advised not to breastfeed him at night, but it was just easier for me to get him back to sleep quicker than holding him.
The truth is I was just plain lazy; lazy to do the right thing by him and for me. I wanted everything to be easier and I made them easier.
This was not a big issue until I decided to wean him. Now, I have to break the addiction. Little Prince and I will have to suffer, him not having his favorite breast to calm down, and me supporting his incessant wailing. I will have to wake up in the middle of the night and find a way to make him go back to sleep without having to use my breasts. It will be hard. I apprehend the worst.
Now, when I think of it, I should have made things more complicated when he was smaller. But, this is motherhood....I will learn the hard way, and try not to make the same mistakes in the future..........
