Unconditional Love

I am so jealous....My Baby Boy loves his father more than he loves me.
When his father enters the room where he is, his face lights up in such a beautiful way. And his father has just to look his way, for him to smile.
Little Prince, even at this young age, knows when his father is back from work. He loves to play with him. And he is never fussy when he is in his arms.
I look at the two men in my life, their connection, and I feel jealous.
Why does Baby Boy give his best smile to his father he barely sees? It is so not fair. I am the one who carried him for 9 months through all the burden and nausea. I am the one who bore for 8 hours of labor (Ok, I had an epidural but It was still painful labor at the beginning). I am the one who stays with him at home, 24/7. I am the one he sees when he wakes up in the morning, I am the one who feed him, bath him, change his diapers, play with him, soothe him, take a walk with him, put him to bed at night...His father only has to show up for him to be happy...While I need to coax, like tickling for him to give me his best smile.
What is it that his father have or do that I do not?
Is it because he is not around every day?Does his absence makes his appearance more special? Or is it because he is a boy at heart and understands the wants of Baby Boy? Or is it because he gives his entire attention to the Little Prince when he is around?
My husband seems to believe that Little Prince smiles to him more because he plays with him and gives him 100% of his attention while I am distracted by something else when I am with him. He may be right. But I have my excuses. I take care of my Baby 24/7 but I also take care of my house; I have to clean, wash and cook on top of doing the usual baby care. Sometimes I have all the chores scheduled but I cannot accomplish much with Baby. For example, yesterday, he did not want to take his afternoon nap. He was fussy and wanted to be in my arms. I was hungry, and did not finish washing the dishes or ironing the laundry. I was so lost and frustrated that It was hard for me to keep my cool and play with Baby Boy. But when I started to sing to him, he calmed down and eventually slept.
I am still jealous of his "bond" with his father. But I am grateful for this relationship. My boy is lucky he has a father. I know of many other babies who do not get the chance to smile back at a father. I am proud of single mothers who fight and work to give the best to their children, but let us be honest: a child needs both his parents; a father figure to show him how to be tough and strong to face the challenges of this world, and a mother to nurture and comfort him....
PS: this article is dedicated to my Hubby....

Confessions

The last time I visited the pediatrician, she told me to be careful from now on since the baby was learning how to roll from his tummy to his back. She advised me never to leave him alone because this could lead to accidents.
I tried to follow her advice. But last monday, I was not careful. Baby Boy had pooed all over himself and I tried to wash him on the toilet sink. After finishing I wraped him in a towel and put him down on my bed. The second I turned over to go and wash my hand, I heard a "bong", following by a scream. Baby Boy had rolled over and fell on the floor. I was so surprised and scared. I picked him up and soothe him as quickly as I could. At the same time I was checking to see if he hurt himself. Thank GOD, the carpet and the towel acted as a shield.
The week before that, I forgot to buckle up my baby in his carseat before putting him in the car. And then I drove on the highway for 20 minutes. My husband was the one to discover my mistake. I was shocked that I had forgotten something so essential.
The thing is accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When I was a toddler, I hurt my chin and needed stiches because I was jumping between the sofas in our living room and fell. My father was surpervising me and he even told me to stop. But I did not listen to him. My younger brother cut his forehead on his bedroom door while we were playing hide and seek when he was 5. He bled like a hog and cried more out of fear of the blood than hurt. The baby of our family, my other brother cut his toe badly when he put it inside the wheel of the mountain bike he was riding with his cousin. These are the few examples of accidents that happen to me and my brothers while we were under adults supervision. Kids would be kids.
I am scared for my baby. And I try to be careful. He is not crawling yet but I see him roll over and dive on my bed. Or while I pick him up he stretches his entire body backward. He likes to move around. He is very curious of his surroundings.
What will happen when he starts crawling, or walking? Should I be extra carefu, never leave him out of sight, or just tie him to me?

Multitasking and other blessings brought by Baby Boy

I was never good at multitasking. My brain was not developed enough to make me do two things at the same time. As disorganized as I am, I still have to do things once at a time...
Baby Boy changed all that. Since his arrival, I discovered that I needed to master the skills of multitasking in order to survive.
I began multitasking when I was becoming a pro at breastfeeding. Now that I did not feel really awkward about the whole situation, I could breastfeed and watch one of my favorite show on TV. Then, I could write a message on the computer with one free hand while I hold the baby with the other while breastfeeding. And finally, it moved on to the point that I could walk a few steps while breastfeeding. Am I not Superwoman, or what!!!!
Little Prince likes to be in my arms, particularly when he is fussy. So when I needed to get some little things done when he was begging for my attention, I would just pick him up and keep on doing the things I was supposed to. Like trying to stir the food on the skillet (cooking), or putting dirty laundry in the washing machine, making him a bottle of formula, even pushing his heavy stroller down the way...
But the task that I find the most amazing is being able to pick up things on the floor with my toes. Things like Baby Boy's pacifier, or dirty clothes, or even a cup. I just clutch them with my toes, and lift them to my hand.
This is extraordinary because I never had a good balance. I would often stumble trying to stand on one leg. So imagine me, picking up something with my toes and lift my feet to my hand while holding a 17 pounds (8klg) baby. I told you this baby made me become Super Woman.
Multitasking is not the only thing this Baby had brought me. I realized I had the power to hear from long distance. When baby cries and I am far away, I can still hear him (or maybe he is just too loud). I am also capable of detecting his cries even when I am dead asleep in the middle of the night, (or maybe it is because his bed is right next to mine). I have the strength to hold him for very long minutes until he falls asleep (and his father who is bigger and stronger than I am cannot even walk around holding him for more than 5 mns). I also discovered than I could breastfeed him while I am sleeping.
I am Wonder Woman and Super Woman combined. Since the Baby arrived, I am more beautiful: I do not have acne on my face like I used to; my breasts are so big, none of my bra fits,and I am lighter and slimmer than ever ( the last time I was this thin I was 16 years old, 10 years ago). I do not want to brag but it is true.
Evidently, there are other, not so good or interesting things this pregnancy+ baby gave to me but you will have to read about it in another story.