The Second Time Around

I checked it twice. The sign was not clear at all. I read the instructions again to be sure. It did say that I was pregnant but I was not a hundred percent sure. I called my doctor, or the nurse to take an appointment. Apparently, you need to be hundred percent sure before you could go see your doctor about a pregnancy. What is she here for anyway?
There I was on a Monday morning (the 12th of January to be exact). I just came from the Walmart where I purchased the cheapest pregnancy test. I knew I needed to get the one where it is clearly marked "pregnant" or "not pregnant". But I was stingy because if I was not pregnant it would be a waste of money to get the most expensive one.
I decided to take a test after 3 weeks of feeling miserable about myself. I was very tired all the time, I did not have enough energy, I would go to bed at 9:00 PM (which if you know me at all, would understand that is way too early). I was having some bad cramps but not having my periods. I felt odd inside my body. At first, I just thought that it was because I was depressed, but then it crossed my mind that I was 3 weeks late. For someone who would have her period even twice a month, that was unusual.
So, I decided to take the test that Monday. And since I was not sure about the result, the Tuesday I went and bought a more accurate test and did it. Barely 3 seconds after I pee on it, It said "Pregnant". I said "hallelujah". I was happy.
Now I had to tell my husband.
The first time I told him I was pregnant with our first born, we were just coming out of a fight. He barely looked at me and said "I know". I was so sad and to this day I cannot let it go. I always thought that husbands were supposed to be happy to have their wives pregnant. I always imagined that if I do get pregnant and tell him, he would lift me into the air, give me huge kisses and tell me he loves me. But he did not. So, imagine my reticence as to telling him the second time around.
What I did is that I started to throw hints at him. I told him that I was not feeling well lately. He asked me about my last period but did not say a word about the lack of it. Then I called him after I took an appointment with my OBGYN. He still did not say anything. I was always waiting for the right time, the perfect moment. And the more I waited, the madder I get that he did not see what was going on. So, on a Thursday morning, when he came to kiss our son goodbye before he went to work, I just blurted it out. He looked at me and said "and you are telling me now? Now that I have no time to react and must go to work?" I responded that I was sorry but I could not find the right time so there I laid it out. He left. Then came back to kiss me on the cheek and say congratulations. He also asked me if I was happy to which I answered that I was exhausted. I called him later that day and he told me that he was still mad that I had told him that way.

Truthfully,I do not know how he feels about this pregnancy. He wanted another child for so long that I hope that he is thrilled. However, we did agree that now was not the right timing to get a baby on the way. So I do not know. And I am scared to ask.
But the truth is I do not have the time to really care. I am too tired with this pregnancy- which seems like is going to be a tough one-to be able to deal with his emotions. Frankly, it is all about me now that I am pregnant and he needs to deal with that. Not the other way around. I am pregnant and that gives me the right to be a little bit selfish, no? And he will just have to learn to live with that for the next 8 months or so.... (Sorry Darling!!!)