Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Is it time yet?

My husband have been bugging me about having another child for months now. My answer has always been "no". And yesterday, he gave me an utlimatum, he wants another child by the time my baby turns three, or in other words by this time next year.
I love children. I always thought that I would have plenty of them when I grew up. The thing is I did not count on raising children being so damn hard (excuse my French). Everyday is a struggle between you, your husband and your child to figure out what is the right thing for him. Since I became a Mum, I have not had adult fun, Me time and GOD knows what else. I feel like I am trapped and that I will never be able to escape. Hence, my fear of having another child. If I feel trapped having just one child, imagine my life with two.
The thing is my baby is not responsible for me being trapped. I just use him as an excuse for not getting out of a situation I do not feel is the best for me. I want so much more out of this life, but I never seem to find out what and how to get it. So I blame the baby. Easier, right?
People(family and friends) are always eager to give you advice about your family lifestyle or plan whether you ask them or not. For my parents, it is too soon to have another child, for my in-laws it is almost a bit late; for my girlfriends: I need a better job first. I do not know what is the right thing. I just know that I do not want a child now. Maybe I am just running scared of what the future may hold.
The truth is that I need to take charge. If I am having another child, I should make sure that it will not be the dramatic experience I had with the first one. I need to be sure that I have an "exit plan" for when she or he is old enough for me to let go of her or him. I need to know that I have the total support of my husband whatever happens.
I cannot just close my eyes and be knocked up without reassurance that everything will be ok. Even though things do not always go as planned, I need to plan those things for my own peace of mind. Then I will be ready for a second child.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mitch! I've read several of your blog posts including the ones about fashion. I had no idea you like fashion that much. I really like your blogs. And your stories about your little boy are just lovely. Take care and stay pretty no matter what.

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